I'm Seriously Thinking About Getting A Dog
by Sass and Sex
Summary: President Bartlet accidentally got high on painkillers and Charlie has to take him back to the Residence. Abbey comes to help out. Fluff ensues.


Author's Note: This story was inspired by a story by the supremely talented gutsandglitter on AO3 called Dear Abbey, but my darling wifey Brooke has allowed me to put my own spin on it. So here I am, killing myself and everyone else with Bartlet fluff. Enjoy :)

**I'm Seriously Thinking About Getting A Dog**

"Maybe an Irish Setter. What do you think, Charlie?"

"I think that sounds great, sir. Let's get you back up to the Residence," Charlie said, trying as politely and professionally as possible to manhandle his boss back to his room. Because really, there was no other way to deal with this. Two minutes he had been gone! Just to call down to the kitchen to get the President the peanut butter and jelly sandwich he wanted. Of course, this was after Charlie had told the President he couldn't make one for himself. Charlie thought that getting high on painkillers and then using a knife—even just a butter knife—wasn't a very good idea. But apparently President Bartlet had gotten bored with the idea of a sandwich and wanted to go to work. In the Oval Office. Where real people were. While high on painkillers.

When Charlie did finally get the President back to the Residence, the President suddenly got very concerned.

"Charlie, where's my wife?"

"I assume she's in her office, sir. Down in the East Wing."

"Why would she be there?"

"That's where she works, Mr. President."

"But why would she be doing that?" the President asked in a sad, whiny tone.

Charlie mumbled, "Because she knows which pills to take."

Jed hadn't heard him, which was probably for the best. "I'm gonna go visit her." He turned around to walk out the door.

Charlie jogged over and grabbed his arm. "You can't do that, Mr. President."

"Sure I can. It's my White House and my wife."

"Sir, I think we can both agree that if she sees you like this, she's going to get pretty mad at both of us."

"No she won't. She likes it when I visit her. She likes it better than when I summon her to the Oval."

"I'm sure, but you aren't in any condition to be wandering around, sir."

"Charlie, I'm fine!" he insisted.

"You're high, Mr. President."

Jed paused for a moment, staring at Charlie. "Am I really?"

"Yes, sir."

"So I shouldn't go to the East Wing?"

"No, sir."

"Charlie?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Could you call my wife up here, please? And then sit down and play a game of chess with me." He wandered over to the living room and pulled a chess set and board out of the cabinet.

Charlie called down to the office of the First Lady.

"Yeah?" Mrs. Bartlet said, answering the phone. The only people who ever called directly to her office were her husband, her children, or her assistant.

"Mrs. Bartlet, the President would like you to come up to the Residence when you get a moment," Charlie asked her politely.

Abbey sighed. "How's he doing? Is he still in pain?"

"No, ma'am. He doesn't seem to be in pain anymore."

"Oh, did he take the Vicodin?"

"Yes." Charlie neglected to say he also took the Percocet.

Abbey frowned. "Why does he want to see me?"

"I'm not quite sure, ma'am, but I had to convince him that going down to your office in his condition wouldn't be a good idea, so this was the compromise. But if you're busy, I'm sure he'll understand. I ordered him a sandwich and he's setting up the chess board to have me play a game with him."

"You better be good, Charlie. He gets annoyed when people don't present him with a good enough challenge," she informed him.

Charlie didn't think that would be too much of a problem in the President's current state, but he didn't tell Mrs. Bartlet that. "I'll do my best, ma'am."

"You can tell him I'll be up in a little while. I've got a quick meeting with my staff and then I'll be free until this afternoon."

"I'll let him know. Thank you, Mrs. Bartlet."

"See ya, Charlie."

Charlie hung up the phone and went back into the living room. He found the President hunched over the chess board, deep in concentration over the pieces.

"Ready to play, Mr. President?" Charlie asked.

"I got tired of waiting, so I started without you," Jed informed him.

Charlie couldn't help but smirk. "Would you like me to join in, or do you want to keep going by yourself?"

"No you come sit down, Charlie." Jed stood up and pointed to the chair. "Sit yourself right there. That's it. Great."

Poor Charlie had been directed to a chair that was on neither end of the board, but rather next to it. He didn't think it was really worth it to question it. "Am I black or white?" he asked.

"Whichever you prefer. I didn't want to do anything offensive."

It took Charlie a minute to realize what the President was referring to. He chuckled when he realized. "I'll be black, sir. You can be white. Less confusing that way."

Jed laughed and moved one of the white pieces. "Look at that. I got you in Check already."

"I haven't moved anything yet, sir."

"Charlie, you gotta pay more attention! You can't expect to get ahead with that kind of…" He trailed off and stopped.

"Sir?"

"So about the dog, Charlie…"

Charlie frowned. "What dog?"

"My dog. I'm going to get a dog. Now, I'm very serious about this. I think an Irish Setter is the one. Those are those green ones, right?"

"I think they're red, sir."

"That's what I said. Big ones. Long red hair. Yeah. That's it. I want one of those. Where could we get one, Charlie?"

Charlie wasn't entirely sure where this was going. The President was in no way capable of making any sort of decision. "I don't…uh…I could make some calls for you, sir."

Jed looked down at the chess board, planning his next move. He looked back up. "Calls about what?"

He suppressed a smile. "Nothing, sir." But then the President reached across the board and moved the black bishop three spaces. "Sir, that was my piece."

"It was Charlie, yes. But now it's mine."

And that seemed to be all the President had to say in the matter. After that, Charlie figured it didn't really matter what happened. He moved each of the knights, regardless of their color, every time there was a lull in the game.

About ten minutes later, the First Lady arrived in the Residence. "Alright, I'm here. What did you want me for?" she called out, announcing her presence.

Jed turned to look at her. He just stared.

"What?" she asked, coming into the living room.

"Look at her, Charlie," the President instructed.

"I'm looking, sir."

Jed smiled. "Isn't she pretty? God, she's the most gorgeous creature on earth. You should've seen her back when we were in school. Actually, probably not. I wouldn't want any more competition than I already had."

Abbey felt her cheeks grow warm, but she suppressed her smile. "What are you doing?"

Jed's expression went blank. There was a long pause. "Irish Setter," he said definitively.

Abbey looked to Charlie. "You said he took the Vicodin?"

"And the Percocet," Charlie informed her.

"Oh for the love of…Dammit, Jed! One or the other! I told you that three times at breakfast!" She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. "You know what? Never mind. I'll yell at you later. When you'll understand what's going on." She walked over to the couch and turned to Charlie. "You can take a break, Charlie. I'll call if we need anything."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell Lily to cancel my appointments? I'm not leaving him alone the rest of the day."

"I'll let her know, ma'am."

"Thanks, Charlie." She waited until Charlie had left before she sat down beside her husband, who was obliviously playing chess by himself.

Jed looked away from the chess set and turned to his wife. "Charlie's a good name. We'll call him Charlie."

"Who?"

"The dog."

"What dog?"

"I'm getting a dog. An Irish Setter."

"Jed, we're not getting a dog."

"Why not?"

"You don't like dogs."

"Yes I do! I love all animals."

"See, you say that now, but you remember when we first moved to the farm? We were going to get Liz a puppy for Christmas? You and I went to the pet store and you complained about every single animal we looked at. The look on your face when that retriever puppy licked my nose was enough to let me know that we are not dog people. So we've got horses instead."

Jed frowned. "Where are the horses?"

"At the farm. In Manchester." She used short phrases and spoke slowly. And to think, this man had a Nobel Prize. She'd helped him write the acceptance speech and everything.

His face went blank again. "And where are we?"

Abbey groaned and stood up. "Okay. That's enough. You're going to bed."

"Are you coming with me?" he asked with a grin.

She smiled slightly and brushed her fingers on his cheek and through his hair. "Just to make sure you fall asleep."

She took him by the arm and led him into the bedroom. He moved slowly but steadily. She sat him down on the bed and helped pull the sweatshirt off him. Though he seemed to have a different idea in mind. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned back, pulling her on top of him.

Abbey let out a slight squawk in surprise. "Jed! Just because you're not in pain right now doesn't mean your back isn't still pulled! You're going to hurt yourself again!"

He scoffed, "Worth it."

She leaned on her elbows, trying to keep most of her weight off of him. "You're absolutely impossible, you know that?"

"You're the one who made me this way."

Abbey didn't respond. Because she knew he was right.

"Hey."

"What?" She raised one eyebrow quizzically.

"If we can't get a dog, let's have a baby. We can name him Charlie," he reasoned.

She couldn't help but laugh. "We're not having a baby! And besides, we tried twice to have a boy and look how well it worked out. Who's to say this time we'd get a son?"

"We have three perfect, beautiful, brilliant daughters. And if we have one more, that would be more than wonderful." Jed began lifting her blouse out of her skirt so he could put his hands on her bare flesh.

Abbey wriggled out of his grasp and off of him, sitting on the bed next to where he was laying. "Jed, we can't have a baby."

"Why not? Don't you think it would be fun to have a baby in the White House?"

"First off, no, I don't think it would be fun to have a baby in the White House. And second of all—and more importantly—I'm fifty-four."

"So?"

She rolled her eyes. "We're done with this conversation. You need to sleep this off. Because if I have to hear any more of your drug-fueled antics, I'll become the fifth person to kill a President."

Jed stood up to take off his jeans. He got into bed wearing his boxers and a tshirt. Abbey pulled back the sheets for him, not bothering to fix her appearance after his attempts to undress her. He watched her with a small smile. He could feel everything become clearer. The pills were starting to wear off. The pain was still at bay, thank goodness, but he was getting sleepy and was significantly more aware of his own mind.

"Come take a nap with me," he requested, speaking softly.

Abbey considered for a moment. She had cancelled her afternoon. And when was the last time they had wasted a day in bed together? She honestly couldn't remember. "Okay. I'll be right back." She stepped into the bathroom to take off her suit, blouse, and stockings. She returned wearing her robe and climbed into bed with her husband.

Jed adjusted himself so she would fit comfortably in his arms, her head resting on his chest just like he liked. He gently stroked her hair.

She hummed happily. "Go to sleep, sweetheart," she murmured.

"What's the date today?" he asked.

"October 12th. Why?"

"Damn. Missed it by two days."

Abbey sat up to look at him and ask, "Missed what?"

"The anniversary of the day we met. It's been thirty-four years and two days since I fell in love with you."

Her face broke into a joyful smile, wrinkling her nose. "What a sweet thing to say. Even if it is a load of crap."

He chuckled. "What do you mean?"

"You did not fall in love with me the day we met," she insisted.

"I did too! I didn't realize it until later, but I've loved you since the moment I saw you, standing there in the biology section of the library. You were wearing a gray skirt and a blue blouse and black shoes and your legs looked fabulous and your hair was long and kinda fluffy with that curl you've got. And when you fell on me and dropped a book on my head, that was it, babe. You knocked me for a loop in every way possible." He reached up and stroked her cheek.

Abbey felt like her heart was about to explode with happiness. She blinked back tears. There was a reason she loved this man, and he showed her almost every day. That charm and that sincere, undying love he held in that big heart and that big brain. She adored him more than words could express. Even if he was high as a kite. Abbey leaned in and kissed him. "Whether or not you fell in love with me that day, I'm glad you did eventually."

Jed looked into her eyes and felt his whole body grow warm from the inside out. "It was when you looked at me. Really looked at me. When you looked at where the book hit my forehead? Your green eyes full of concern and sheer brilliance and overwhelming capability. You've got the whole universe in your eyes in emerald and amber."

His eloquence told Abbey that he was almost completely lucid at this point, but she didn't care. "I love when you get mushy for no reason."

"You're the reason, Abbey," he told her, pulling her down into his arms. "Everything I have is thanks to you. If we hadn't met that day, I'd probably be a poor priest in some sleepy parish in New Hampshire."

She curled up in his arms, letting his love and his words wash over him. "So what you're saying is I'm the reason you're the President? Gee, I should get a pay raise."

He laughed. "Yeah, you probably should."

"Is it my turn for mushy now?"

"Well, it couldn't hurt."

Abbey gave him a squeeze and said, "I couldn't stop thinking about you after we met in the library that day. Instantly, I knew you were different from other men, if only because you had treated me different than any other teenager in the world. And if we hadn't run into each other at that party a few weeks later, I still would have never forgotten you as long as I lived. I'm just glad we got together. Because you've made all my dreams come true. Even the ones I never fathomed were possible. And I love you more than anyone has ever loved another person in all the world."

"That much, huh?"

"Yeah. That much."

He smirked. "You know it wasn't an accident that we were both at that party, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's how long it took me to track you down and find you in a public place. I told you, Abbey, I fell in love with you the moment we met and I wasn't going to let you get away."

"I thought you wanted to be a priest?"

"Yeah. I did. Until I met you."

Abbey kissed him again. For a long time. She never ever got tired of hearing that. He had given up everything he had worked for because he loved her. And she had given up a lot for him over the years as well, but she would never forget that first sacrifice he made. He gave her everything: their daughters, their home, their life, and most of all, his love.

The Bartlets did eventually take a nap that day. In the late afternoon, Jed went down to the Oval to get some work done and Abbey met with her assistant to catch up on all the things she had cancelled earlier. He worked through dinner and long into the night. At about midnight, he was cursing himself for wasting half the day by taking the wrong pills. Before he let Charlie leave for the evening, Jed sent him to Abbey with a note. She read it and smiled.

_Alright, so no dog and no baby. But I've got you, and that's all I need. I'll see you later. Don't wait up. Love, Jed_


End file.
